Three days before Christmas and no sign of snow. Not even a flurry. However, I found myself slipping and sliding on the ice as I made my way across the YMCA parking lot this morning, making me question my date with the treadmill.
It has happened before… the brown Christmas. Just a few years ago, I recall a Christmas day that included bike riding in the driveway for a couple little boys. It felt unnatural then, and feels unnatural now. We here in Minnesota are simply not accustomed to anything other than a white Christmas. My husband and I lived in Phoenix for 7 years. Our first holiday season there was a shock to my Minnesota-at-heart system. I can remember driving around, giggling at the saguaro wrapped up in colored lights. I found it surreal to make plans for hiking Christmas day, enjoying the sunshine and 70 degree temps.
The lack of a white blanket of snow puts a psychological damper on that holiday spirit we associate with the Christmas season. It is tough to feel the warm fuzzies of the soft twinkling lights and a cup of hot chocolate in contrast to the drizzling rain with temps hovering just above freezing, which is cold enough to be uncomfortable, but not cold enough to produce those magical snowflakes falling from the sky.
I’ll admit I had a tough time getting into the spirit of Christmas preparations. With a major project due for school, a bout of strep throat, and the emotional baggage of losing 3 grandparents this year draining me of all my time and energy, I was reluctant to engage in any of the things I would normally want to do. My husband took over shopping for presents and even handled decorations (both indoor and outdoor) without a moment of complaint. I struggled with deciding whether or not to send out Christmas cards. I threw one together last minute only to discover that our mailing list had been eaten by our computer hard drive. A plea for addresses produced only a handful of responses and after digging out our old address book, I felt the sting of seeing names and addresses of those who either passed away or have faded from my life for one reason or another. I knew I needed to find a way to start enjoying the season, even if it was a little forced.
So I did.
I began baking cookies. A lot of cookies. It is one of my favorite things to do. Armed with a truckload of flour, sugar, spices, and more, I dove into the task of creating some of my favorite treats. I don’t bake often, but love every opportunity I get. Except when I experience what could be called a Pinterest Fail. I have those moments. An unsuccessful recipe, or dough that is over-beaten. I ruined a batch of spritz cookies, which made me wish my grandma was here to show me her ways. Instead of dwelling on the negative sense of loss and failure, I found a fun moment in it, making a game on my Facebook page to see if anyone could guess what they were supposed to be. It helped get me through what could have dragged me down into sadness.
I have since been vindicated with a much more successful batch using a different recipe and a much better frame of mind. These held together and grandma would have been proud. Using her old cookie press makes me think of the thousands of cookies she created using it. And the countless cookie I ate every Christmas. Grandma always brought an enormous spread of candies and cookies that she had made.
Even working through this, I know that this season is not really about the snow on the ground or the hot cocoa and decorated tree. It certainly isn’t about cookies. But hanging on to some traditions are worth the fuss. Making cookies with Grandma’s cookie press, using recipes in her handwriting, and sharing these moments and memories with my family… they are worth the effort. Those are just some of the rituals I want to hang on to as part of the celebration of the birth of Jesus.
And it worked.
After all that baking, I am ready for Christmas. I am ready to celebrate and teach my children about that little baby born in Bethlehem. I am ready to spend time with family and friends. I am ready. Perhaps I needed to kick-start my holiday spirit a little with a tradition that I love.
I also have a lot of cookies. Feel free to stop by for a couple.
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Love, Grace, and Friends 